I Could Give All to Time
by Sardius
Summary: *Chapter Three is up!* A tragedy happens when Aya dies during one of the mission. But if Yohji was given a chance to go back in time and prevent Aya's death, would he? And what is the price Yohji has to pay? Yohji/Aya pairing. AU (In Progress) Pls R/R!
1. A Bargain with a Fool

**Title: I Could Give All to Time**

**Author: Sardius**

**Category: Angst/Romance  
  
****Warnings: PG-13 for now (AU)   
  
****Pairings: Yohji/Aya   
****  
Disclaimer: Not mine! Not mine! Even though I want those pretty boys to myself. *ties Yohji and Aya together* hee.**

**Author's Note: Okay. One day I swear I will tie my fingers together so I stop dishing out new stories. I'm waiting for my baka tutor to come to class n he hasn't turned up yet so why spend 2 hrs in a comp tut figuring how this stupid Mirco-station program works when writing fics is so much better. ^____^ (I would hv worked on FM but dun hv the script with me)**

Yeah if u wanna hit me 4 starting a new fic u can. Swear I just needed to get this fic down or I'll go crazy. 

[**NOTICE**: I uploaded this chapter again as I FINALLY got myself a beta-reader! Thanks to **Lilla** who was so nice to offer to help me out and corrected all my silly mistakes. Thank you! ] I hp I did it rite! 

**Chapter One: A Bargain with a Fool**

**October 14th 1998.**

_I went to visit Aya-chan today. She is still the same. Always the feeling of melancholy fills my senses whenever I enter the hospital room. I brought her some of her favourite tulips; I still remember how we used to sneak into our neighbours' garden to steal some of their flowers during our summer holidays. Of course later mother found out and we both got in trouble. Well, I got in trouble. Since I was the eldest I was expected to look after my little sister and not to follow her childish games. But they were enjoyable back then. Those are the happiest memories of my life. _

_It still pains me to remember how my parents died. How Aya was lying so cold on the concrete ground, a pool of blood forming around her body. And I hadn't been able to do anything except cry. Since then I told myself I would never cry again._

_Well until tonight that is. Yohji has been occupying my thoughts every night since the time he spoke to me when I was sitting alone in the park. I was remembering that night during a mission when I accidentally killed a little girl, part of me felt like I had killed myself. That is supposing I am even living anymore. I feel so dead inside. _

_Yet Yohji had been there. He held onto me and told me it was not my fault. That I was still human, that I still meant something for him. But…only as a friend. Of course how could I believe he would love me in return? He might have gotten over Asuka's death but do I even have the right to take her place? _

_Still that night I cherished the moment we had for each other even if it was for a short amount of time. Even if he only treated me as his team-mate. I had been a fool to love another person again. I should have never let myself get close to him in the first place. Then maybe none of that would have happened._

Yohji…..Yohji…yohji…yohji.

_Yohji Kudou_

_I can't even stop writing his name. How pathetic am I? But I should be more worried about the mission tonight. It seems as though a voice at the back of my head is telling me something is about to go wrong, but maybe I have been too stressed out lately. I would have thought I would have gotten use to the killing but every time when there is a new mission, a new kill, my hands will involuntarily shake. _

Yohji…Kudou… 

_Ashiteru_

_It is time. I should go and prepare now. Already I can hear Ken outside of my room muttering about getting to the shower first. Maybe after the mission tonight I should tell Yohji how I feel. If I confess my feelings to him then maybe he'll realise how much he means to me._

_Maybe he will say yes. He might just say those words I want to hear coming out of his lips._

_As pathetic as this sounds, I think I have fallen deeply for him._

_I truly love Kudou Yohji._

_I truly do._

_Fujimiya Aya._

* * * * * * *

I flung the book away with such a force that it slammed against the wall knocking the lamplight onto the ground. It crashed and broke into millions of pieces. 

_How could I have been so stupid? _

_ Aya…. oh god Aya…. why didn't you tell me sooner._

I stood still in the darkness, staring at my reflection in the shattered glass lying on the floor. 

_It was broken. Just like my heart. _

Unconsciously I wiped the tears from my face, my body shaking as I bent down to retrieve the book. Some of the pages were loose and I tried my best to get them back into some resemblance of order.

Aya wouldn't have liked his diary to be thrown around.

Those words…they keep echoing in my ear. Voices that keeps murmuring in my head, like a whisper that never stops. Forever I will picture those beautiful amethyst eyes widening in shock, in pain, in fear as the light slowly faded away from them.

And I could do nothing. I couldn't do one fucking thing as he lay there in my arms, his breath slowly disappearing as his eyes drifted closed.

I had screamed. I had screamed for him, telling him to hold on. Omi was already getting the paramedics to help. He just had to wait…just a little bit longer for help to arrive. But he had only looked at me, so much sorrow hidden in his eyes that I had never seen before and had reached up with his bloody fingers to touch my face.

_His hands, his body, he was so cold._

I had wrapped my arms around him, hugging him close. Giving him all the warmth I had, whispering over and over again that he would be all right. That he would be taken care of.

But he had only shaken his head slightly, the tears trickling down his cheeks, and smiled.

_I had never seen him truly smiled. _

He had smiled so sadly at me.

My heart had ached as I kept telling him not to leave me.

"Don't leave me…please don't leave me. God Aya… Ran please stay with me."

Then he just whispered those words quietly to me.

No more than a murmur.

"Arigatou."

And then he left me.

I think I screamed. I don't know how long for I have screamed. I don't remember being dragged away from his body as I kept hitting everyone that was in my way. 

Why are they taking Ran away from me? He's not dead. 

I told him not to leave me. 

Then… after that, everything went numb.

I woke up in my bed, the cool chill blowing into my room making me shiver as I sat up. It had been so bright. The dream had seemed so real as I remembered Aya dying in my arms. 

But when I went to his room, hoping to see the redhead glaring at me for waking him up…

_I realised…._

He wasn't there.

Not a trace of him.

Not anywhere. He…he was simply gone.

That was when I realised the dream had been real.

That happened a few days ago and since then I have been in his room not willing to go out. I found his diary in one of his drawers and started reading every single page when at last I saw the last entry.

Kami-sama. He had wanted to tell me. He had wanted to tell me all along but I had been such a stupid fucking idiot that I hadn't even realised. Why didn't I tell him I loved him as well? That night at the park, seeing him so upset, the emotions swirling so deeply in his eyes.

_Why? Why was I afraid to tell him how I feel?_

_I truly love Kudou Yohji_

"I love you too Aya." I choked out the words to the empty room.

_I truly do._

I clung onto his pillow as I lay down onto his bed. There was still a faint smell of him, the beautiful scent of roses drifted into my nose, calming me.

_It's the only thing I have left of him._

I kept hugging the pillow closer to myself, rocking my body back to forth.

"I love you Aya. I love you."

"…. Love you so much."

I repeated these words again and again till there was no longer a need to think; just letting the words lull me into a deep sleep.

_I love you._

* * * * * *

_Come to me._

I groaned as my body slowly began to move. I had woken up in a field of darkness. There were no boundaries, no gravity, nothing. I was standing in empty air.

_Come to me._

What? I spun around hearing a voice at the back of my head. It was ironic thinking it was probably the devil himself dragging me off to hell.

_Come to me._

"Who's there?"

My voice echoed in the darkness. I couldn't see a single thing, not even my hands, my feet, my body. I was in total darkness.

_Closer. Closer. Come to me._

I kept walking, knowing nothing about where I was going when suddenly something blocked my movement. As if there was an invisible wall preventing me from going any further.

_Yes. That's it._

Then as if a spotlight had been switched on, I saw a figure covered in dark robes, hood draped over his features effectively hiding them. 

"Yes. At last the Prince has come. Forever I had been waiting for one who would release me from this prison. He is the person that shed the tears for the one he loves. Oh so very delicious emotions."

"Who the hell are you?"

The figure in the dark robes just chuckled; I could see his shoulders shaking slightly as the laughter soon died from his lips. I shivered thinking it was like the dead I was speaking to in my dreams.

"No but I am very much alive my Prince. You will help me achieve that."

I stood transfixed at the voice that had spoken up again, realising he had just read my mind.

He chuckled again. "I will make a bargain with you."

_A bargain?_

"Yes. A bargain which I'm sure you will agree to."

I stood staring at the black-clad figure wondering if I really had gone crazy enough that I was starting to have a dream like this. 

"Not at all my prince. This is not an illusion, the pain I cause to you at the very moment is as real as reality." The rustle of robes was heard as he stepped closer to me. A scent of spice and rose petals filled my senses, making me remembered someone so familiar.

"Indeed your Orchid has fallen, withering like a flower no longer bearing any sense of life. Soon it would be forgotten, buried beneath the many ashes in this forsaken place." 

_Aya? ___

"You know where Aya is? Where is he?" I tried to reach out to the stranger but instead the invisible wall blocked me once more.

The black robed figure just shook its head. "No…not even I can raised the dead but as I said before I will make a bargain with you."

Beneath the hood I swore I could have seen a lingering smile on its lips. 

"I would give you another chance to reclaim your Orchid. All things will happen according to the timing of events but yet the future will depend on the choices you make."

"What do you mean?"

"Fool! Do I have to make myself clearer?" 

I cringed when he shouted at me; it was like a flame just momentarily burst into life filling the whole darkness with its light.

The stranger sighed and suddenly as fast as it began the flame disappeared. "I will let you go back in time to save your beloved Orchid from his death but you will give me back something in return."

Before I knew what I was saying the words came tumbling out of my lips. "What is it you want? I will give you everything."

The dark figure laughed. "Do not underestimate your words young one. I will claim back everything you offered to me. I will take back everything."

_Everything?_

But if I could see Aya again…just once, I would give him everything. Surely there was nothing more he would want from me than my life. I nodded my head and agreed to his bargain. 

"If I can save Aya then I agree."

A hand appeared beneath the dark figure's robes, yet instead of being a solid hand, it was scarcely visible. It was like a transparent liquid floating in the midst of space.

"Wise choice my Prince."

Hesitantly I asked, "But what is it you want from me?"

The fingers in front of me slowly curled into a tight fist until suddenly I felt a burning sensation in my heart. A voice so soft, filled with desire, echoed loudly in my mind. 

_YOU. I want your body, your mind, your heart and lastly your soul._

I fell onto my knees; the pain was getting stronger by the minute as those fingers twisted themselves tightly together.

"What??…." I rasped.

But before I could utter another word, a strong gust of wind blew onto my face, a storm of rose petals drifted into the darkness leaving me collapsing onto the ground. As I lay gasping for breath, my vision slowly darkened, the voice once again echoing in my mind.

_Remember our promise young one. Never forget the bargain you have made with me._

_Soon your body will be completely mine._

Then I let the darkness consume me.

* * * * * * *

"AYA!"

I woke up gasping in pain. The sheets were all tangled up around my body that was covered in sweat. Shakily I raised my hand and ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to recall what had happened just now.

_That dream. What was that?_

But as I quickly removed the sheets from my limbs I froze seeing the crimson rose petals lying next to my pillow. 

It was the same rose petals I had seen in my dream.

A cold shiver ran through me as I looked up at the calendar, my eyes widening in disbelief.

**August 20th 1998**

I have returned back in time.

Fuck.

* * * * * * *

TBC??? *sheepish grin* 

Well that's it. This is a weird AU. Wasn't planning on adding the whole fantasy illusion thing but my muse seems to agree with it for now. Many things inspired this: such as X, Tokyo Babylon, one of my stupid design project, and the movie Meet Joe Black. Ha! This is another fic of mine added to the list, if u guys wanted me to continue it let me know n I'll work on it. Otherwise I'll just put it aside with the bundles of papers over flowing my desk at the moment. Grin.

Hey Isa this was the plot I was telling u about last night. Now u hv to write yours! 

Leave me a word or two ya? (I'm sounding like Wakka) Make Sardius a happy gal ^____^


	2. A Meeting with the Orchid

**Title: I Could Give All to Time**

**Author: Sardius**

**Category: Angst/Romance  
  
****Warnings: PG-13 for now (AU)   
  
****Pairings: Yohji/Aya   
****  
Disclaimer: Not mine! Not mine! Even though I want those pretty boys to myself. *ties Yohji and Aya together* hee.**

**Author's Note: YA! I'm back by demand. *L's at my own stupidity* Thanks guys! Glad to know this fic has made to the top three Sardius should update list! *LOL* I'm so excited ppl love this fic because I had been meaning to write it out for ages and I had this idea stuck in my head. Hope no one had written this before…but er..oh well, let's give it a try anyway. **

*glomps Lilla* Oh my wonderful friend, what can I do without you??? Thanks for fixing my grammar again. ^____^

**Chapter Two: A Meeting with the Orchid.**

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the calendar. My body was frozen in wonder as I tried to realize if this is some nightmare I have walked into. 

This shouldn't have been possible! How could I…. how could I return back in time. 

_'Is this a dream? Maybe when I wake up I will be in Aya's room again…maybe I…_

"YOHJI-KUN!!!! Wake up! Aya is down in the shop already!"

I flinched when I heard the knocking again. Omi was outside my door waking me up for my usual Monday morning shift with Aya.

_But Aya is dead…isn't he?_

I stumbled out of bed, quickly grabbing any clothing that was nearby and opened the door. Omi was still outside waiting for me with his arms crossed, ready to raise his hand to knock on the door again. The sudden swing of the door made him almost lose his balance.

"What's the date today?"

"Nani? What are you talking about?"

"What's the date? I need to know the date."

The chibi looked at me curiously like I was having some sort of fever or something. I'd rather know I'm having a fever than wonder what the hell is going on.

"Errr…it's August the 20th. Why?"

August 20th…august 20th. That couldn't be. I had returned back to a month or so before Aya's death. Then it all clicked to me.

Black robed figure…something about a bargain, about savings Aya's life. I had somehow agreed to it and then all of a sudden I had just felt this burning pain in my heart. Then…. then I woke up and here was I now. 

"Yohji-kun? Are you all right?"

"Huh? What? Nothing. Nothing is wrong."

What could I say? That I knew that Aya was going to die soon? That today it was going to rain and Omi would come back home, soaking wet complaining about the weather and its getting his school books all wet? That Ken would be late from soccer training with the kids and Aya would get all pissed off.

I felt as if everything was a déjà-vu. 

Omi looked at me strangely again but just shrugged. Probably thought I had had too much to drink last night. 

"Well I'm off to school. You better go down to the shop, Aya is already complaining about all the arrangements needing to be done today."

But before the kiddo left I shouted back to him.

"Hey chibi, it's going to rain today you should bring an umbrella."

Omi just raised his eyebrows at me and looked at me strangely again. "Rain? But its so sunny today Yohji-kun! Are you sure you're all right?"

"Err…yeah. Don't worry kiddo. I'm fine." 

_I am definitely not fucking fine. _

"Sure?"

_No._

"Yo if you want to take my shift instead go ahead, otherwise I think," I looked at my watch and smirked at the chibi, "you're going to be late."

Omi's eyes widened after glancing at his watch and he shrieked. "Oh no! I'm going to be so late and I was meeting Ryo-san today as well." The chibi raced past me and bolted down the stairs, his footsteps could be heard pounding loudly down the hallway, ending up with the slam of the door.

I stood there in the hallway looking at the spot where the chibi had just been standing moments before and cursed softly to myself. "K'so." I cannot believe I am in this situation. How could this be? There had to be something strange that had happened to me before I came here. But the only images I got were a black clad figure and a sea of nothingness.

As I made my way down the stairs to the shop, my heart was thumping loudly. The only thing that would convince me that this was actually a dream would be seeing Aya alive with my own eyes. 

When I finally arrived at the bottom of the stairs, I felt like every parts of my body had just frozen at the sight before me.

Aya was standing behind the counter, like he usually did every morning as he opened the shop. His hands delicately handled the stems of lilies and tulips, pulling them together efficiently. His skin was pale against the bright sunlight shining into the shop through the window. Instead of wearing the ugly orange sweater, the redhead was dressed in a green shirt and dark blue jeans.

He looked absolutely beautiful.

"Aya…" I whispered.

So amazed was I, that I was afraid to even raise my voice when I saw the pale figure turning his head towards me and scowl.

"Yohji. You're an hour late. I already have all these arrangements to work on, you have to help…Yo…Yohji!"

In a few strides I was in front of the redhead and had him wrapped up in my arms. Aya struggled and cursed at me, muttering 'shi-ne' every minute or so. But all I could do was hold him all the tighter, afraid he would disappear on me again.

_Oh Kami-sama! He is real. Aya's not dead! He's not dead!_

I buried my face against his soft crimson hair and whispered, "It's you, isn't it? Please tell me you are really right in front of me.'

_That this is isn't some dream I'm having._

The redhead poked me in the ribs till I let him go and glared at me, yet deep inside the amethyst eyes there was a hidden look of uncertainty.

"What the hell are you babbling Kudou?"

"I…."

I just realised what an utter fool I had been, rushing into the Koneko and throwing my arms around Aya who had no idea what the hell was going on.

_Well neither did I._

"Gomen…I…I'm clearly I'm not in my right mind oday."

I tried to keep myself distracted by moving the pot plants outside of the shop and watering them down. Then I realised a certain figure was behind me and I looked up to see Aya gazing at me in concern.

"Yohji…are you okay?"

I almost had to laugh at that comment. Aya out of all people asking if I was all right when he was always the stubborn idiot that locked himself away in his room. 

"I'm fine."

"You sure?'

Why the hell is everyone asking me that today?

"Yes! Stop asking me that. I…just forget what happened before. I had a late night out drinking and didn't know what I was doing.'

Aya didn't say anything to me after that and went back behind the counter. Somehow I felt like I had hurt his feelings telling him off like that. But then that was Aya and…how could I tell him that somehow I came back from the future to prevent his death? As if he would believe me out of all people.

Black figure. Yes it was him I saw the last time I lost consciousness. I have to find him again to know what the hell he did to me. I have….

"Aya stop. You're going to cut yourself."

But before I could put the pots down I heard the redhead curse loudly behind me. I looked up to see Aya sucking his finger, the other hand still holding onto the rose that had just pricked him.

I went over to the cupboard and grabbed a bandage from the first aid kit and took the finger out of his mouth. Only by the time I had the finger all wrapped up, I realised what I was doing and froze.

What the hell was I thinking touching Aya? I knew how much the redhead hated to be touched. I had already made a fool of myself after hugging him this morning and now I was treating him as if he were… you know the evil old-fashioned form I seldom see around my lover.

_Because this could be the only time you have left with him._

I remembered that last entry he had written in his journal. How he had crossed out my name over and over again, only for it to be written all over the page. Aya had wanted to confess his love to me after the mission was over. He had wanted to tell me all along but had been afraid of what I would say to him. 

But by then it had been too late.

I stood staring into his beautiful purple eyes. Did he still have these feelings for me? 

_If what I believe is true, that I have actually returned back to time, can I change everything?_

"How did you know?"

"What?" I asked. I hadn't realised I had been holding onto the pale hand for that long so I quickly let go. "What are you talking about?"

I tried to make myself seem calm by smiling and causally reaching into my pocket to draw out a cigarette. As I was lighting the damn thing and trying so hard not to let my hand falter, Aya once again questioned me.

"How did you know I was going to cut myself?"

"I didn't."

_God that was the worst lie you ever gave Kudou._

"I was just about to ask you to help me so I told you to stop working."

I knew the redhead didn't believe a single word I'd just said and for once I felt not in control of a situation.

Before I headed back to where I was working, I heard Aya murmur, "Thank you."

We didn't talk for the rest of the day.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

It had been terrible having that whole shift with Aya. Part of me just kept glancing at the redhead, admiring his graceful movements. How his brows were drawn tight together in concentration, how he occasionally licked his lips, the way he moved his body so fluently. 

Everything about him was intoxicating.

And I couldn't get enough of it.

_Damn you Kudou. You are such an idiot sometimes. Sooner or later, Aya will know what's going on and then what are you going to say. Hey Aya, you're going to die soon and I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me as well? _

_Fuck._

_Where the hell is that bastard? What has he done to me?_

_'Are you speaking to me my prince?' _

That…. that voice!

I stood up from where I was sitting and looked all around me. Somehow as I was thinking about Aya, I had wandered on the streets and had ended up hiding myself in a park. But as I stood there looking at the people walking past me, I did not see the black-figure anywhere.

I heard a soft laugh behind me.

_Oh my dear boy, how you amuse me._

"Where are you?"

I kept turning around to find him but there was nothing to see. No one. Not anyone in sight. I looked up to see the sky had slowly darkened. There was no one left in the park but for me.

_Where am I?_

_'Look inside yourself, find me and see.'_

Then suddenly a strong gust of wind blew onto my face as I tried to block it off with my arms. 

_'I have always been there. Watching you, listening to every single thoughts to all your heart's desires.'_

_'Come to me.'_

And like in the dream I had had before, I followed the voice until I saw the familiar figure dressed in black. Not a hint of his face was shown, hidden, as it was beneath the hood he drawn upon his features.

Then I saw a smirk lingering on his lips and he spoke in a raspy voice, "We meet again my prince."

I could only stare at him and wished so much to myself that I had my wire with me so that I could strangle the man.

"What have you done to me?"

The figure seemed to find my frustration all the more amusing. "What have I done to you? I have done what you wanted so much after your orchid's death, I have done what you have willingly agreed to."

"This is absolutely ridiculous! What have you done to me old man?"

I yanked my hair down so I could feel the pain it caused me, making me wonder if I was dreaming again.

The figure sighed. "I have told you that this is not a dream. What happens to your body happens to the living world."

I tried to make myself believe in all of this. But somehow I just couldn't. I couldn't make myself believe that I have gone back in time. Even after today everything felt so strange to me. Like when I knew when Ken would come home, when Aya would cut his finger today while making his arrangements, or that Omi was going to get wet because of the rain.

All these thoughts kept running in my head. I felt as though I was a precog or something.

"Perhaps you do not quite understand what our bargain clearly means."

Then to my astonishment, a liquid hand appeared beneath the black velvet sleeves and drew a circle into a pool of water. I gasped and looked down to realise I too was standing on that pool of water, but for some reason I wasn't falling in.

The ripples in the water swirled gently together until it went around and around in circles till all I saw was a total darkness. Then slowly the waves crested and broke and as the water calmed again I found myself seeing Aya dressed in his mission gear.

"AYA!", I screamed.

But the redhead could not hear me as he raised his katana aiming it towards the target. I tried screaming for him to run, to leave me behind but to no avail. Then everything just repeated itself and I saw Aya getting shot as he pushed me out of the way.

"NO! AYA! No."

I didn't realise there were tears running down my cheeks as I was on my knees looking at the swirl of the water that had shown Aya's death. I couldn't tear myself away from those beautiful eyes that were now almost empty as the life faded away from them.

"No no no. Please not again." I whimpered.

Then after I had wished so strongly for the image to disappear, I found myself once again in total darkness, the dark figure standing before me.

"That was our bargain. For you to return back in time to prevent the Orchid's death."

_'You want to prevent his death don't you?'_

"Yes." I looked up at him, "Yes I do."

Then he just smiled at me and slowly began to fade away.

_'Then see to it that you keep your part of the bargain.'_

"Wait!" I shouted after him.

 But it was useless. Already I knew he was gone.

I got up shakily from where I was kneeing down, the afternoon sunlight bathing me from the sky, banishing away the darkness that was once there. I glanced at my watch and realised I had to go back to the Koneko soon.

But as I kept walking towards the shop, I heard a voice once again whispering in my mind.

_'Never forget what you had promised me my prince. Never forget.'_

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

TBC~~~~

Well that was another chapter. Phew and I made it! Go me! Still keeping up with me people? Hope you liked the new chapter. Had been meaning to get it out for a while and kinda felt weird typing this at uni where everyone else is been productive and working. Oops. Anyhow next update is FM and will be my last update for the year. So will be posting the new endings up next week. But I will try my hardest. No promises if I can finish it, if I can't sorry. But I will simply try my best. Man…. never thought writing fics could be so stressful *L* Ja!

Sardius


	3. A Devil's Promise

**Title: I Could Give all to Time**

**Author: Sardius**

**Category: Angst/Romance**

**Warnings: PG-13**

**Pairing: Yohji/Aya**

**Disclaimer: Not mine! Not mine! Even though I want those pretty boys to myself. ties Yohji and Aya together* Hee. **

**Author's Note: YAY! Ff.net is working for me again! I can update this fic finally! Life is good for a little while. Sorry for the late update however! Once again tons of thanks to Lilla for beta-reading my works even though I know how busy you are! And for encouraging me so I continue to write WK fics. **

Okay Lilla suggested I should do this so all thanks goes go to her. I tend to just think everyone understands what I am writing with all these symbolism I am using and may not realise that some people might find it confusing. So here's the explanation:

[] Internal dialogues

# # Aya's diary entires

//// character's thoughts

****** means change of POV

**Chapter Three: A Devil's Promise**

It was late by the time I got back to the Koneko. Everyone should have been fast asleep; no lights were seen in the bedrooms anywhere. I carefully made my way up the stairs, making sure not to step on the loose wooden board and made my way towards my room.

"Yohji."

I almost crashed into the door when I realised whose voice it was that had spoken behind me. 

_//Please Aya. I don't think I can talk to you tonight. Not after what just happened. //_

I tried to make myself sound surprised to see him and asked, "Aya? What are you doing up so late?" But all I had wanted to do was flee into my room and shut out the world. I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back to my time.

[_Its…. it's a nightmare. Everything. All of this…I…]_

"I couldn't sleep and…. you weren't home yet so I was… worried." Aya had his gaze cast down onto the wooden floor. It was dark in the hallway and I could not make out the expression on his face, I had only been able to feel a deep sense of sadness when he had spoken to me moments ago.

It was strange speaking to Aya like this, knowing how much he cared about me when I hadn't known before. My thoughts drifted back to the journal he had written and realised that the situation I was in now was a repeat of what had been happening before.

_# I couldn't sleep. Yohji hasn't come home after he left this afternoon. He didn't tell me where he was going and I didn't want to ask. It might lead to a lot of misunderstandings. It is stupid I know. I constantly watch over him without being seen wishing I had to courage to tell him how I feel. I don't want to be hurt again._

_Someone is downstairs. I think Yohji is back. I want to go out and make sure he is okay. He's probably drunk and needs help up the stairs…but I don't want him to know I was staying up for him. #_

_# It was strange. I would have thought he would have gotten drunk, instead when I saw him in the hallway he didn't say anything, just went into his room and shut the door. I wonder if I have done something wrong? I could feel he was upset about something._

_I wish he could talk to me about it. #_

_*******_

I remembered. I remembered that night I had gone out planning to get drunk but instead I had wandered around the park thinking about the feelings I had for Aya. And when I had seen him in the hallway I had panicked. I hadn't known he was still there waiting up for me. So I did the only thing I could do, I fled and shut the door in his face.

I hadn't realised it then. I had been so fucking stupid, I hadn't known I was hurting Aya so badly.

"Yohji….I…you should go to bed. It's late."

I blinked and slowly let my eyes come back into focus. Aya was still standing there, so vulnerable and alone. Before I knew what I was doing, I had the pale man in my arms again, holding him tight. I could feel his body flinching beside me but slowly he began to relax as I murmured against his ear, "I'm so sorry I hurt you before."

The redhead was about to ask me what I meant but instead I sealed his lips with mine, tasting his sweet mouth, urging his closed lips to open to mine. Hesitantly he did, and I plunged into that warm cavern, teasing, licking, sucking, running my fingers through the silky red strands of his hair. 

After awhile I broke apart, leaving Aya panting slightly beside me. I buried my face in his crimson hair and whispered, "Don't say anything. Just let me hold you for a while longer."

I would have thought that Aya might have pushed me away but instead I felt the tightening of his hands behind me, holding me tight as if he was afraid I would let him go.

_I won't Aya. Not again. I won't let you leave me again. _

What a fool I had been to not realise how lonely Aya had been. How much he had needed someone's love, someone to care about him. Except I had been too absorbed in myself to realise that and now I didn't even know if I could change the future.

"I don't understand you Yohji." The redhead whispered beside me. He was shivering from the cold, and I wrapped my arms around his waist tighter, bringing our bodies closer together.

"You don't need to. I just want you to know I will never hurt you again." 

The redhead flinched in my arms, at that statement, and pushed me away. I tried to ask what was wrong, only to be pierced by the glare of those angry violet eyes. Aya backed away from me until he was leaning against the door. 

"Why are you doing this now, Yohji?" A sliver of pain surfaced in that cold expressionless voice, but before I could say anything else, he went inside and slammed the door in my face.

"Damn it." I swore. One minute I had the redhead in my arms, the next minute he was out of my reach. I stood there in the darkness looking at the spot where Aya had been just moments ago and cursed myself for letting him get away.

_//Why are you running away Aya? I don't want to lose you again.//_

*******

I shivered as I leaned back against the door, my body slowly sliding down the wooden surface until I was huddling on the ground.

_//Why is he acting so strangely now? Why is he telling me this of all things?//_

I knew I had been an idiot to wait up for him, worrying about him since he had acted so strangely this morning. I had….he… he had never been so gentle with me before. And that scared me. I hadn't known what I should be feeling at that moment, it had just been too much to see the warmth of the passion in his eyes. 

It had felt so nice to be in his arms. To feel needed. But I knew nothing like would last forever. Yohji was probably getting lonely and needed someone for a quick fuck. 

_[What am I to him anyway?]_

_//"You don't need to. I want you to know I will never hurt you again."//_

_[Why does he keep saying that? What does he possibly know about the pain I am feeling at the moment? Something is definitely going wrong with him. He's been like this ever since this morning, it's like he knows when things are going to happen. ]_

_[It's like he knows the future.]_

I smiled as I drew my knees up closely to my chest, leaning on them as I hid my face under my arms. But… it had been nice. Even if there had been something wrong with Yohji…it had been nice to be held in his arms; even if it wasn't for real.

******

"I'm in."

"NO!"

I hadn't realised I had suddenly burst out loud till I saw everyone was looking at me. Especially Aya. The redhead had agreed on the mission that was to be held tonight, but he didn't know what would happen to him if he were to go ahead.

_# Well until tonight that is. Yohji has been occupying my thoughts every night since the time he spoke to me when I was sitting alone in the park. I was remembering that night during a mission when I accidentally killed a little girl, part of me felt like I had killed myself. That is supposing I am even living anymore. I feel so dead inside. # _

I can't let Aya go on this mission tonight. He doesn't know what he is getting himself into. I have to stop him at all cost.

"Yohji-kun. Are you all right?"

Omi looked at me with concern in his eyes as he and Ken exchanged a look, before asking me again. I could only stare at them numbly, my mind going blank except for the image of Aya holding the bloody katana in his hands as he realised what he had just done.

_//Please I don't want this to happen again.//_

"I'm going."

I did not fail to hear the clipped words falling harshly from the redhead's lips. Aya was glaring at me as he leaned against the wall, hidden in the darkness, his eyes glinting dangerously, angered as he was by my sudden outburst.

Before I could utter another word, he stormed up the stairs and out of my sight. 

_[Damn you Aya. You are fucking not going on this mission.]_

**** ***

_[What the hell was Kudou doing, thinking he could order me around like that?]_

It had surprised everyone in the mission room when the blonde had suddenly screamed his eyes filled with pain and terror.

[_I don't understand. What is happening to him? Ever since yesterday he has been acting strange and…. even last night when he suddenly hugged me…I…this is all wrong. There is possibly no way that Yohji cares about me. I don't know what he's doing but I am not falling under his spell.]_

"Aya!"

I turned around to see Yohji rushing up towards me, his eyes already told me he wasn't giving up without a fight. I snarled and uttered a few curses before slamming the door in his face, only to have him blocking it with his boot.

"Aya you are not going on that mission."

"I do not need to listen to you. Now. Let. Go."

I tried slamming the door again but instead Yohji pushed me inside and banged the door behind me, locking it in place. The blonde looked so stressed out and irritated as he raised a shaky hand to rake through his tousled hair. "Kami-sama, what can I do to make you understand me? I just can't let you go on the mission tonight Aya. You'll regret this. Please. Listen to me for once."

I didn't realised how close how bodies were until I felt his heavy breathing on my face, his hands grabbing onto my shoulders tightly. Angrily, I pushed him away, wanting nothing but to be left alone.

"What are you trying to do to me Yohji?" I whispered. I tried to force myself to stop shivering as I wrapped my arms around myself. "You've being acting so strange since yesterday morning when you…" I couldn't make the words come out of my lips but the blonde seemed to understand as he titled my chin up until I was looking into his deep emerald eyes. 

_//I don't know who you are anymore. I feel as though you're a stranger to me.//_

"Aya…how can I say this." There was a spark of pain in his eyes as he suddenly smiled and laughed. "You won't even believe me if I tell you this. I think I'm about to lose my mind."

I looked at him questioningly, hoping he'd fill me into the story. Yohji looked nervously at me for some reason. I had never seen him act so seriously before as he took out a cigarette and began lighting it. I was about to protest, telling him to get out if he was to smoke in my room but then suddenly he spoke.

"I know what's going to happen in the future because I have seen it. Just as I know what will happen to should you go on the mission tonight." The blonde took another puff from his cigarette as he continued. "You're going to do something you'll regret later and I don't want that to happen to you."

"What?" I blurted. "How do you know all of this?"

Yohji just smiled and shook his head. "I told you before, I have seen the future. I know what will happen tonight." Then he walked towards me until our faces were bare inches apart and I could feel his cigarette smoke on my skin. 

"Because Ran, I don't exist in this time. I came back from the future." 

"I came back to prevent your death."

*******

I knew Aya would never believe what I had just told him as he stood there staring at me with his amethyst eyes. The shock hidden behind them, clearly told me there was no way the redhead would listen to anything I had said.

"Aya."

But he didn't say anything to me, Aya simply slowly backed away until he was leaning against the wall. 

_//No Aya. Don't do this to me. Don't block me out.//_

I didn't know how I should react or what I should do as we stood there in the darkness. I felt like a fool for telling Aya everything that had happened to me. Why did I tell him all of this? Because I didn't want to see him get hurt? Because I knew tonight he would accidentally kill this little girl and that this action would bring him so much anguish and pain? This was ridiculous. As if he would believe me. Hell, if someone just told me I was about to die I'd probably call him a nut-case and tell him to butt out of my life.

_[Real smart Kudou. Real smart.]_

"Aya this isn't what you think. I haven't gone crazy. You…you have to believe me. I'm not lying to you."

What could I say to make Aya understand? I hadn't meant for this to happen. I hadn't wanted this to happen.

_[ I just…. I just wished you were still alive. I just…]_

"So I am going to die."

"Huh?"

"You've just said I was going to die didn't you?"

Aya's eyes were searching mine as I heard each word coming out from his lips. 

"Yes. But…"

"Why did you come back then? Why not just let me die and leave me." Aya's eyes drifted away until he was staring down at the floor. Then his voice became so soft as he spoke the words that almost broke my heart,"What is the point in living anyway." 

Aya looked up at me until I felt anger radiating from him again. "This is ridiculous Yohji. Did you think I would believe every word you've just said to me? What are you trying to accomplish? Haven't you already done enough?!"

Aya was practically shouting at me. I had never seen so much anger directed towards me before. 

_[What does he mean haven't I done enough? What the heck is Aya talking about?]_

# Yohji never talks to me anymore. He always seems to be hiding every time we see each other. After last night when he came back home, he didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. I know this isn't supposed to effect me, but I wish I know the reason why he has been avoiding me lately. #

Fuck. I forgot all about how I acted towards Aya before. I…I just didn't want us to get too close to each other. I…I didn't think that it would be fair if I was still in love with Asuka and…

"Forget it Yohji. I'm going on this mission anyway, you are not stopping me."

Aya started to get his mission gear out of his closet as I grabbed onto his slim waist and spun him around until he was facing me. "Fuck you, you stubborn bastard. Why do you have to be so goddamn irritating?!"

The redhead started snarling under his breath, struggling to move away from my death-grip as I tried to think of a solution to make Aya believe me.

Suddenly it all clicked to me. 

"Come out you idiot! I know you are here!"

Aya continued to struggle as I keep calling out to the hooded stranger. Only he could have Aya believing me. 

_[He's here. I know he is. Where the fuck is he?]_

"Yohji! Have you gone crazy? What the hell are you doing?"

"It was him! It was him that brought me here. He said I could come back to prevent your death. That's why I did. He's here! Come out now! Stop hiding from me!"

I didn't know if I had just lost my mind just then. At the moment all I wanted to do was keep the redhead from harm. I never wanted him to experience that pain again. Aya kicked me in the ribs and I gasped, loosening my grip on him as he raised his katana threatening at me.

"Don't come any closer." He whispered through gritted teeth.

"No. Aya. Wait." 

Before I could recover from the attack, the redhead had flung the door opened and had run out of the room. I winced and got up quickly, racing towards the door when I heard a voice behind me.

_'What an amusing little scene we have here. I haven't laughed for such a long time.'_

I froze when I suddenly recognised the voice. "You! Why didn't you help me! You said you would, you bastard!."

The hooded figure materialised in front of me, floating mist-like in space. A spark of amusement could clearly be in his voice.

"Oh did I? As I remember it you and I only agreed to let you come back and save your pretty orchid's life. How foolish was it of you to forget." "You bastard."

If only I had had my wire with me, I would have strangled the man myself.

'Now now. Play nice my prince. After all, I am the only hope you have to survive.' Suddenly the stranger raised his head towards me and I stood paralysed seeing the glowing eyes hidden beneath the disguise. 

_'There is no way for you to prevent the outcome of tonight my prince so just let it go.'_ I tried to move but every inch of my body was as heavy as lead. Then there was a mocking laughter followed by a very amused voice that spoke, "Beside, if I were you, I'd rather focus on your lover's death. That Time IS approaching."

Then suddenly he was gone and I lay there gasping for breath, feeling every part of my body tingling as if on fire. 

_[Fuck! This is insane! Now Aya probably thinks I'm out of my mind and there is no way I could possibly stop him from going on the mission tonight.]_

A sense of dread and anger overcame me as I slammed my fist onto the floor, ignoring the pain thundering in my chest.

"Damn you Aya." I whispered.

Damn you for doing this to me. 

*******

TBC~~~~

Is it just me or am I writing longer chapters now? What happened to the good old 6 pages instead?? *scratch head* Anyway things are going well so far, already plan on cracking onto the next chapter but I'll probably post Lavender first b4 another update.

**Next update: Lavender- Chapter 5**

**Please join my ML: **[http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sardius_fics/][1]

Once again will try to update this on ff.net but they are very very evil. Hopefully updates would be back to normal and also I don't want to pester Lilla too much with all my fics. ^___^ 

Sardius

   [1]: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sardius_fics/



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